Examples · Traditional
Traditional Wedding Vows
The classic words, where they come from, and the modern move most couples make: traditional vows for the ceremony, personal vows in your own voice.
The traditional wedding vows most people mean are the ones from the Book of Common Prayer: “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.” Couples today use them three ways: word for word, lightly modernized, or paired with personal vows written in their own voice.
The classic form
The wording nearly every film, novel, and grandparent knows descends from the Book of Common Prayer, first published in 1549. Spoken by each partner in turn, it runs:
I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded wife [or husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.
Modern ceremonies usually soften the “thee” to “you,” say “until death parts us,” and drop the old promise to “obey,” which has been optional or absent in most wedding services for generations. A common modern rendering:
I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [husband / wife / spouse], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death parts us.
What civil ceremony vows usually say
A civil (non-religious) ceremony strips the vow to its legal heart: each partner declares, before the officiant and witnesses, that they take the other as their spouse. Many civil scripts use a short form like:
I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband / wife / spouse], to love, honor, and cherish from this day forward.
Some ceremonies phrase it as a question instead: the officiant asks “Do you take [name]...” and each partner answers “I do.” Both patterns count; what a given place legally requires is the declaration of consent, and your officiant will know the local wording.
Other traditions, briefly
- Catholic weddings exchange consent in the words of the Rite of Marriage, guided by the priest or deacon; couples generally do not write these vows, though many add personal words at the reception.
- Jewish weddings traditionally center on the ring declaration, in which one partner consecrates the other according to the law of Moses and Israel; many couples add personal vows under the chuppah or privately.
- Many other traditions, including Hindu, Muslim, and Buddhist ceremonies, carry their own vow or consent forms; officiants are used to blending them with personal words when couples ask.
The both-and move: traditional plus personal
You rarely have to choose. The most common modern pattern is to speak the traditional or civil vows for the ceremony itself, then add short personal vows, a minute or so each, written in your own voice. The traditional words carry the weight of everyone who has said them before you; the personal words carry the two of you. Officiants accommodate this constantly; just tell them you would like a moment for personal vows.
- Nervous speakers: let the officiant lead the traditional vows line by line (repeat-after-me), then read your short personal vows from a card.
- Private couples: say the traditional vows publicly and trade written personal vows before or after the ceremony, just the two of you.
- Balanced couples: agree on length and tone for the personal vows in advance, about a minute each is plenty.
Add personal vows to the classic words
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FAQ
What are the traditional wedding vows word for word?
The classic form: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." It comes from the Book of Common Prayer.
Do we have to say traditional vows to be legally married?
No. What most places legally require is a declaration of consent, each of you affirming you take the other as your spouse, before an authorized officiant and witnesses. The exact wording requirements vary by location, and your officiant will know the local rules.
Can we say traditional vows and personal vows?
Yes, and it is the most common modern pattern: traditional or civil vows for the ceremony, then a minute of personal vows each. Tell your officiant; they handle this all the time.
Do we have to memorize traditional vows?
No. Most couples repeat them line by line after the officiant, which also steadies nerves. Personal vows are usually read from a card, and no one minds.
Is "obey" still part of traditional vows?
Rarely. Most services dropped or made it optional generations ago, and nearly all modern couples leave it out. Any officiant will happily use the equal form for both partners.